The 2011 year was the theme of change. I went and hit the reset button on my life a few times. All of it making me a better person then I was before. I’ve learned so much about who I am, where I want to go and what I want to do.
I’ve changed my relationships with people – I ended a five-year relation ship with someone I loved. It was probably the hardest thing to do, but in my heart it was the right thing to do. I have felt no qualms about it. It has been a year now and we are back to being civilized and being able to be in a room together and with friends. Having people feel they needed to pick and choose to hang out with one for the other was difficult – it continues to happen but it is no longer an issue due to uncomfortableness between the two of us now. This will hopefully change in the future – I’m not entirely sure it will though.
I changed jobs – I left a job that was slowly breaking me down. I enjoyed the work and I enjoyed working with my co-workers, but there were other aspects that made it difficult for me to want to get out of bed in the morning. I knew it wasn’t a job that I could see myself in for the next 5 years. It was never meant to be more than a few months – a transition from the lay off. I spent two years searching for the right fit and kept going to work to make sure the bills were paid. I was in survival mode. I kept looking for a way out to something I would enjoy for work. It got to the point that one day I didn’t care I didn’t have another job lined up yet – I just couldn’t stay where I was. I needed out. I left on good terms – which matters to me as a person. I still keep in touch with a few key people who influenced my life and consider them friends.
I took a leap of faith – I participated in Vancouver Fashion Week. Not the feedback/turnout I was looking for; but was worthwhile in learning where I want to take Di Designs.
I’ve met new people and made new friends. This is hard for me to do – and I can relate it to how I grew up. The number of times I had to change schools for a move, the changes between a military base school and a public/separate school system in a new town. I become so introverted at one point I decided why bother putting in the effort – I’ll just be moving on anyways. I’ve now been in Calgary for 13 years. I am still in touch and see occasionally people I met 13 years ago. I have people I call friends now – and I have no fear or them going away. I’m more social and am willing to try to make new acquaintances. Every year I can look back and see that I look more confident in a picture then I did the year before.
I have become a stronger and better person then I was the year before. I’m dreaming again and I can almost reach some of those dreams that I had locked away.
Dreams are important – they keep us from becoming stuck in the mud – they give us hope and joy and love and light to lift us up and give a reason for us to better ourselves.
My promise to myself for 2012 – keep dreaming and never give up hope.